Monday, September 9, 2013

The Homestudy

The homestudy..
many of you that have gone through this may or may not have had the same reaction to this part of the process that I did. I'm not sure why it made me so nervous to have someone ask me such personal questions...but it did.  I don't really get up close and personal with folks. I used to have the best of friends that I shared everything with.  But not any more.  I mean, I have lots of close acquaintances but very few close friends.  I'm not one on the whole "sharing your feelings" kinda stuff. Like "you are the way you are because of what happened then" kinda things. I guess I'm just more of it with it...move on.  So when two ladies (as lovely and sweet as they were) were sitting at my dining room table asking very personal questions, I was a wreck.  My life hasn't been perfect..I haven't always made the best decisions (GASP) that would later make for the best of answers on a homestudy to become a foster parent.  But as it were, again, none of my worries were warranted.  Yes, it made me think of things but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought.  The ladies were so sweet.  
Come to find out..are you ready for this?...nobody's perfect.
And while your letting that sink in...there's more..

 I've also come to realize that God's not looking for perfect...he's looking for the WILLING.  Those that are willing to step out of their comfort zone...step out of their comfy little lives and be willing to follow Him.
 No matter how hard it matter how awkward and uncomfortable it gets.  He wants those who can set aside their own little plan to be a part of something BIGGER..something BETTER...something AMAZING!  His plan is ALWAYS so much better than ours! 

Here I am, Lord...send me!

That's not to say that the homestudy interview didn't have it's awkward moments. To give you an idea of some of the questions we were asked:
What are your parents names and occupations...easy. What type of relationship did your parents share?  Thanks Mom and Dad..bout to celebrate that big 50th.  Ya'll made answering that one easy. :-) What are your brothers/sisters names and date of birth? Are they married?  If so, to whom?  Another thank you to my brother Eric and sis in law Karen...almost 22 years...ya'll making me look good here. :-) What schools did you attend starting from kindergarten til your highest level of education? What was your best childhood memory? Ahh, lake trips with the family! What was the worst? :-( List the dates and names of any previous serious relationships, engagements or marriages..hmmm, well, Mark and I met each other in our early 30s and have a blended family so there was some serious relationships to list there. How did you meet your spouse?  That ones easy..I love telling that story :-) How long did you date before getting engaged?  How long were you engaged before you married..errrr, that one is a little more difficult..we did everything backwards.  Hey, when it's right you know it's right.  List all previous employment..List everywhere you've ever lived with dates and why you moved. What is the worst crisis you've faced in your marriage?  How did you handle that crisis?  What is the hardest time you've been through?  The death of my best friend 5 years ago when she was 36 years old...I love you J....What type of discipline did your parents use?  Do you agree with it?  Well, umm, I didn't then!  :-) 

So, there you have it.  As usual, my worrying and stressing made the days leading up to the homestudy much worse that the interview itself.  One of these days my mind is gonna connect to that scripture I know so well:

I mean, really..He called us to this place..we are certain we are following His will for our lives..why in the world do I worry??  It's the human in me I know.  
A year later, in all the trials that have come since, He has never once let us down..and yes, I've worried and stressed in that years time..meeting the biological parents for the first time..sending that 5 year old home to an uncertain home life..dealing with behaviors that I've never dealt with before..questioning my limits.  Foster parenting can be can get can be downright uncomfortable..physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting..

But another quote I've always loved says it all:

He never said it would be easy; 
He only promised it would be worth it!

And when I stop for a moment and remember His abilities and His grace and His mercy....and the fact that He has no limits...well, that makes watching a 2 year old scream and fall out in the floor because his shoe has come untied and I haven't gotten to him to tie it fast enough just a little easier to handle. :-)

Thank you, Father!

1 comment:

  1. Amen! My husband and I are just starting the foster care process. The home study terrifies me, because our lives haven't been perfect. I know this is something God has called us to do, and He will provide a way. Thank you for sharing this.